{"id":5809,"date":"2016-12-01T17:08:38","date_gmt":"2016-12-01T17:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dailydigest.com\/?p=5809"},"modified":"2016-12-01T17:08:38","modified_gmt":"2016-12-01T17:08:38","slug":"baptizing-a-drunk-man-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailydigest.com\/baptizing-a-drunk-man-joke\/","title":{"rendered":"Preacher Attempts To Baptize A Drunk Guy In The River, But The Dude’s Response?! Hilarious!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A guy is stumbling about all in the woods, drunk out of his mind, when all of a sudden he bumps into a preacher right there in the river baptizing people.<\/p>\n

He drunkenly splashes into the water\u00a0and knocks into the preacher. The man of God turns around and\u00a0is instantly hit by by the strong smell of\u00a0booze. He decides the drunk needs saving.<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you ready to find Jesus?\u201d<\/em> The preacher asks.<\/p>\n

“Yup!\u201d<\/em> Comes the reply.<\/p>\n

The preacher man grabs a hold of Ol’ Drunky and dunks him straight into the water. He grabs him back out and asks him, \u201cSon, have you found Jesus…?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cNope”<\/em>, the man says. “I’m afraid I haven\u2019t found Jesus. Try again.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/center>The preacher, surprised\u00a0at the answer, submerges him again but for a little while longer. Again he yanks him out of the river and asks, \u201cHave you found Jesus yet?!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\"baptism-joke\"<\/p>\n

The drunk looks blankly at the preacher and again answers – \u201cNo! I have not found Jesus!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Angered, shocked and losing patience, the preacher forcibly plunges the drunkard back underwater – this time for what must be a full thirty seconds before he pulls him up with all his strangth and yells at the man…<\/p>\n

\u201cFor the love of God, have you found Jesus Christ?!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

The drunk staggers to his feet, wipes his faces and eyes, coughs up a few lungfuls of water, gets his breath back and turns to the preacher. \u201cPreacher… Are you sure this is where he fell in?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A guy is stumbling about all in the woods, drunk out of his mind, when all of a sudden he bumps into a preacher right there in the river baptizing people. He drunkenly splashes into the water\u00a0and knocks into the preacher. The man of God turns around and\u00a0is instantly hit by by the strong smell<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5811,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[386,1288,2103],"class_list":{"0":"post-5809","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-humor","8":"tag-baptism-joke","9":"tag-drunk-man-baptized-joke","10":"tag-jokes"},"yoast_head":"\nPreacher Attempts To Baptize A Drunk Guy In The River, But The Dude's Response?! Hilarious! - Daily Digest<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dailydigest.com\/baptizing-a-drunk-man-joke\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Preacher Attempts To Baptize A Drunk Guy In The River, But The Dude's Response?! Hilarious!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A guy is stumbling about all in the woods, drunk out of his mind, when all of a sudden he bumps into a preacher right there in the river baptizing people. He drunkenly splashes into the water\u00a0and knocks into the preacher. 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